1.
Encourage reading in any way you can
2.
Treat your child as though he's an author
3.
Make math part of her everyday life
4.
Teach your child how to listen
5.
Support your child's teacher and the school
rules
6.
Tell the teacher everything
7.
Make sure your child is ready for school
8.
Spend time in your child's classroom
9.
Encourage responsibility and
independence
10.
Ask your child about school every day
1. Encourage reading in any way you can
There is no way to overestimate the importance of reading. It
not only enhances learning in all of the other subject areas, it
exposes children to a wealth of information and experiences they
might not otherwise enjoy.
It stimulates the imagination, nourishes
emotional growth, builds verbal skills, and influences analyzing and
thinking. In fact, according to every teacher I spoke to, reading
to or
with your child every day is the single
most
important thing you can do.
But you shouldn't worry so much about
how well your child is reading in any particular grade.
Different children acquire reading skills at different ages and in
different ways. And you can't force a child who's not ready to
start
reading.
But you can promote a love of reading by giving your child lots
of fun experiences with print at whatever level she's in. Here are
some reading milestones you should look for now (but remember, your
child's skill level
may vary), and specific tips on how to help.
MILESTONE 1: Your child realizes that individual printed
words represent individual spoken words and
begins to recognize and
read a few — such as dog, car, and no, plus his own
name.
How to help:
• Read together every day.
• Encourage your child to point to words as he "reads" a book.
• Help her learn to write and identify upper- and lowercase
letters.
• Teach him how to spell and write familiar words and names.
• Play word-related games (as in: "I'm going to eat something on
this table that begins with the letter B.
Can you guess what it
is?" or "Let's say all the words we can think of that start with
the letter T").
• Together, come up with a list of short, simple words that
rhyme (such as bat, cat, sat, rat, hat). Write
them down in a
column, so your child can see how part of each word is similar.
MILESTONE 2: Your child can read simple, repetitive books
using the text or illustrations to figure out unfamiliar words.
How to help:
• Read a new book aloud several times before encouraging your
child to tackle it on his own.
• Listen to your child read and help — if asked — with problem
words. Act like it's no big deal if he
misses some. Concentrate,
instead, on making the experience fun.
• If your child misses a lot of words while reading, and starts
acting frustrated, offer to take over the
reading, or choose an
easier book. Never force your child to read a book that's too
hard just because
his friends can read it, or his sister could
when she was his age.
• Help your child write and read his own stories and books.
Accept whatever spellings she uses, even if
it's only the
initial letters of each word.
• Get your child her own library card.
MILESTONE 3: Your child begins to read short, illustrated
books on her own, for enjoyment.
How to help:
• Make frequent trips to the local library, and encourage your
child to pick out her own books.
• When your child is reading to you, casually supply the words
she doesn't know or can't figure out. Encouragement is still
more important than correction.
• Play games that involve reading skills (for example, have a
treasure hunt and place written clues
around the house; play
Junior Scrabble and other age-appropriate board games).
• Ask your child to read to a younger friend or sibling.
• Leave your child brief notes — to say "I love you" or "Good
luck" or "Don't forget to take your homework
to school" — in her
lunch box, near her cereal bowl at breakfast, or on the bathroom
mirror.
• Give books as gifts.
• Limit TV, computer, and video-game time, and encourage your
child to read instead — even it's only
his baseball cards or
some comic books.
MILESTONE 4: Your child begins to read longer books with
fewer illustrations and distinct chapters
(chapter books).
How to help:
• Take turns reading the pages aloud together.
• Talk about the plot, characters, and conflicts in the story
you're reading together.
• Explain complex words and sentences; help with pronunciations.
• Encourage your child to read you recipes and other written
directions.
• Show how much you value reading by doing a lot of it yourself.
Ask for books when it's your turn to
get gifts. Talk about the
books or magazine articles you're reading and enjoying.
Back to top
2. Treat your child as though he's an author
He doesn't have to be Hemingway or Shakespeare. All he has to do is
grow up thinking that he can put thoughts and words onto paper. And
the sooner he starts, the better.
As with reading, you can help in different ways, at different
stages of development. Look for these
milestones, and use these
tips:
MILESTONE 1: Your child can scribble or draw a picture and
associate words with the picture (such as,
"This is the sun" or
"This is me").
How to help:
• Provide lots of materials (paper, markers, crayons, paints,
chalk, etc.) and time for drawing.
• Ask your child to tell you about the pictures she draws, and
label the objects as she points them out.
• Ask your child to dictate stories or poems to go with the
pictures he draws, and write them down for
him. Then, read his
work aloud, exactly as he dictated it.
MILESTONE 2: Your child begins to produce marks on a page
that resemble written words, and can
"read" you what he's written.
How to help:
• Encourage your child to "read" you his words, and express your
enjoyment ("What a wonderful story!"
or "Thank you so much for
sharing that with me").
• Keep providing the materials and time for your child to write
her own stories and books.
• Write stories and poems alongside your child, and read to her
what you've written (even if you think it's
awful — your child
won't judge it).
MILESTONE 3: Your child understands that sounds are
represented by certain letters, and begins to write actual letters
to represent real words ("sn" for sun, for instance).
How to help:
• Encourage your child to write notes, keep a journal, or write
her own books.
• Offer to rewrite his words or sentences, using the real
spellings.
• When reading together, point out how most sentences have the
first letter of the first word capitalized, spaces between each
separate word, and a period at the end.
• Mention who the author is when you read books together, and
talk about what authors (and illustrators)
do. Point out that
when your child writes stories, he's an author, too.
MILESTONE 4: Your child begins to fill out the words she
writes, using more standardized spellings.
How to help:
• Don't act overly concerned about spelling. Instead, continue
to praise your child for the imagination and ideas he expresses
in writing.
• Gently correct spelling on school homework assignments (when
the teacher requests it). Your attitude should convey "Let me
help you" rather than "Get it right!"
• Reinforce the idea that a piece of written work rarely just
happens: It gets written, edited, proofread, and rewritten
before the final copy is published.
• Let your child create a quiet writing corner in the house, and
encourage her to write frequently. Give her ideas about what to
write if she's stumped. For instance: "Write a note to Grandma
to say thank you for the birthday present"; "Write down your
favorite memory from when you were little"; or "Write a story
about your favorite toy."
• Have your child write lists — of anything from what she wants
for her birthday or what her favorite movies are, to what she
loves most about school or what she wants you to buy at the
grocery store for snacks.
• Let your child see you writing, and talk about how you're
using writing: to express thanks, for instance, communicate
information to office mates, lodge a complaint, request vacation
information, remember errands; create a shopping list, etc.
• Get the whole family involved in keeping a vacation or
"special days" journal.
Back to top
3. Make math part of her everyday life
Leave the flashcards, workbooks, and other skill-and-drill stuff to
the teacher. At home, the best way to help your child learn to love
math is to play with numbers, and to frequently point out the
various ways in which
math makes our lives easier. By working with
tangible objects, and counting, sorting, estimating, measuring,
looking for patterns, and solving real-life problems, children learn
to think in mathematical terms, without worrying whether or not
they're "smart enough" to do math.
Almost anything you do that involves numbers and/or problem
solving will build your child's math skills. Here
are just a few
ideas to get you started:
• Have your child set the table (counting and sorting the sets
of plates, napkins, cups, and silverware).
• Post a running countdown of the days until her birthday. Let
her change the number each day.
• Challenge him to guess at things, and then find the answers.
For example: How many bowls of cereal do you think we can get
out of this box?
How many M&Ms do you think are in your (snack
size) bag?
How many minutes do you think it will take to clear
off the table?
Which of these cups do you think will hold more
juice?
• Play a copycat game, where one person creates a pattern (pat
your head, touch your knee, clap three times) and the other
person has to repeat the pattern three times in a row.
• Ask your child to help you create a pattern for a quilt square
or an abstract picture using markers and paper; construction
paper in different colors, cut into square, triangle, and other
shapes; or shapes cut out of different fabrics.
• Ask your child to measure things in non-traditional units.
For
example: Let's see how many footsteps it takes to get from here
to the door.
Why do you think it's more for you and fewer for
me?
How many action figures (or Barbie dolls) long is this
table?
• Have your child compare things: Which do you think is heavier
— a cookie or ten chocolate chips? Who do you think is taller,
mom or dad? Which carrot is longer? Fatter? Crunchier?
• Give your child problems to solve — and let her work them out
by touching and counting actual objects.
For example: I have
four cookies here, but two people want to eat them.
How many
should each person get?
If we invite six kids to your birthday party, and put two candy
bars in each kid's treat
bag, how many
of these candy bars will we need?
Back to top
4. Teach your child how to listen
Teachers who've been around for 15 or more years say they've seen a
definite decline in children's attention spans and listening skills
since they first started teaching. Many of them attribute it not
only to the fast and entertaining pace of television and computer
games, but to the fact that many children today don't have a lot of
time to just sit around, listening and talking to family members.
Between parents' jobs and children's after-school activities, it's
hard, sometimes, to get everyone in the same room for a family
dinner once a week.
But being able to focus on what other people are saying is an
important element in learning. So, whenever possible, try to build
your child's listening skills. Here are some strategies that will
help:
• Read aloud to your child on a regular basis — even after she
has learned to read by herself. Ask questions as you read, to
make sure your child is understanding what she hears.
• Limit television, computer, and video game time. While they're
all entertaining, and can even be educational, they tend to
promote tunnel vision. Make sure the time your child spends in
front of a screen is balanced by time spent with other people,
talking face to face.
• When you speak to your child, make eye contact and gently
touch his shoulder or arm, to secure his attention.
• When giving directions, ask your child to repeat back to you
what she heard you say — to make sure she really did hear, and
does understand what she needs to do.
• Model good listening behaviors. When your child wants to talk
to you, for example, stop what you're doing and look at him
while he's speaking. When he's finished, say something that
indicates you heard him, even if you only repeat back what he
said.
• Play talking and listening games with your child like
Charades, Red Light/Green Light, Duck, Duck, Goose, and Twenty
Questions.
• Teach your child that even if an adult is saying something he
finds boring, he still needs to listen, look at the person, and
show respect.
• Spend time with your child doing quiet activities that
encourage conversation, such as taking a walk together, taking a
ride in the car, folding laundry, picking strawberries, etc.
Back to top
5. Support your child's teacher and the school rules
Even if you don't agree with them. It doesn't do any child any good
to hear her parents say that school is "a waste of time," that
school rules are "dumb," or that what she's learning is "stupid" or
"useless." Your child doesn't have a choice about going to school,
so she might as well feel good about where she's spending her time.
She'll be more motivated to work hard and succeed if she thinks
you think that what she's doing is worthwhile.
So even if a school rule seems silly or unfair to you, or you
think your child's teacher is dead wrong about something, don't make
a big issue about it in front of your child. Instead, take
your concerns straight to the source.
The key steps toward resolution
The best way to approach a problem or disagreement involving the
school is to:
• Make an appointment to see or speak to the teacher. For
minor problems and concerns, a telephone conference may be
sufficient. But if you feel the issue merits more serious
discussion, arrange to meet with the teacher face to face. Don't
try to corner her before or after school, when her attention is
on the students. Instead, shoot for a time when she can give you
her full attention, and is less likely to be stressed or tense.
• Consider carefully what you want to say before you visit
the school. Write down a list of your concerns, and why
they're concerns. Let your list rest for a while, and then go
back to it, when you're feeling calm and rational. Try to frame
all of your concerns in the most positive light possible, so you
won't immediately put the teacher on the defensive. For example,
instead of saying, "You're not doing anything to help my child
improve in reading," you should shoot for: "I'm really concerned
about my child's progress in reading. I wanted to check in with
you to see if there's anything else that can be done, at school
and at home, to help her move forward."
If necessary, practice your spiel in front of a third party, to
make sure you don't sound too threatening. You may feel like
blasting the teacher; you may even have good reason to do so.
But your child will not benefit in any way if you alienate her
teacher. Try to remember that the best school solutions come
when teacher and parent act as a team.
• When you meet with the teacher, voice your concerns in the
least threatening, most friendly tone you can muster. If you
lose your temper, you may lose the chance to be taken seriously.
Remind yourself that your goal is to help your child, not blow
off steam. If possible, bring tangible evidence to back up your
side of the story.
• Prepare to listen to the teacher's side. There may be
mitigating factors of which you're unaware; you may have gotten
the wrong information from your child; there may be a
miscommunication that's complicating the issue. Try to be — and
act — open-minded.
• If you and the teacher cannot come to a mutually satisfying
solution, enlist the principal (or the school's psychologist, or
a learning specialist). "I appreciate what you're saying,
but I'm still concerned," you might say. "I'd feel more
comfortable if I got another opinion on the matter. I'd like to
meet with the principal." Or, if you're afraid the teacher will
take her anger at you out on your child (this shouldn't happen,
but it could), request an anonymous meeting with the principal.
If the second meeting doesn't help, the next step is to contact
the superintendent. But only you can decide whether or not
that's necessary.
Sometimes you just have to accept a less-than-perfect teacher or
classroom situation. In most cases, it won't do permanent damage to
your child, and it may even help him develop some healthy coping
skills. Also, sometimes things that upset parents about school don't
really bother the students. So you may want to talk to your child
first, before forging ahead with a complaint, or requesting a
transfer for your child. In some cases, moving a child from one
classroom to another mid-year would be worse — from the child's
point of view — than having him stick it out with a weak teacher.
On the other hand, you shouldn't feel intimidated by school
personnel. If you feel you have a legitimate complaint (or if your
child's health, safety, or welfare is at stake), and your gut keeps
telling you to fight for your child, you should do that. Just try to
remember, at every step of the way, that the less hostility you
communicate, the more likely people will be to listen carefully to
your concerns, and work toward a mutually acceptable solution. Let
the power of persistence — rather than the impact of aggression —
carry your case.
If the teacher calls you
The steps outlined above should also be followed if the teacher
calls you to discuss problems your child is causing at
school. Even if you think the teacher is wrong, or your child
insists that she's innocent, go into the conference with your mind
open and your demeanor calm and friendly. Most teachers aren't "out
to get" their students; they genuinely want to make the child's
school year a success.
Back to top
6. Tell the teacher everything
That is, everything that's happening at home that might affect how
your child behaves in school. That includes positive changes (such
as the birth of a baby, a move to a bigger and better house, or even
a vacation to Disney World), as well as negative ones (a separation
or divorce, a death or illness in the family, a parent who's lost a
job).
It's not that teachers are nosy. It's that most children are not
terribly skilled at handling excitement or coping with changes or
stress. And they all carry their baggage from home into the
classroom. Even something little, like a fight with a sibling in the
car on the way to school, can affect a child's behavior or
performance at school.
If a teacher knows there's a problem or change at home, she's
less likely to react inappropriately when behavior goes awry at
school. Under normal circumstances, for instance, a dip in grades
might prompt a teacher to suggest extra help or tutoring. If she
knows that the child just got a new baby brother, however, she might
react instead by pulling the child aside and inviting her to talk
about how she's feeling now that she's a big sister.
You needn't go into all of the gory details of what's happening
at home, either. All the teacher expects to hear is, "I just wanted
to let you know that we're moving to a new house next week, and
Allan is pretty nervous about the whole thing" or "If Sheila seems a
little hyper these days it's because her aunt is taking her to her
first Broadway play this weekend."
What else do teachers want to know?
• How your child feels about school: Is she unhappy? Does
she think it's too hard? Is she complaining about it at home? Or
does she like it? Is there some special activity that she really
enjoyed? Does she talk about the things she learns in school?
Most teachers would rather hear about problems sooner than
later, so they can work on turning things around as quickly as
possible. They — like the rest of us — also appreciate a kind or
encouraging word now and then. So don't forget to mention the
good stuff.
• How your child feels about school friends: Is she
making any? Does she feel like a part of the class — or an
outcast? Is she being teased or harassed? Is she too shy to make
new friends? Does she need to branch out from her one best
friend and get to know other kids? In elementary school, there
is still a lot teachers can do to mold social relationships. But
they need to know what the problem is before they can start to
solve it.
• What your child's special passions are: Sometimes, a
child who is a reluctant reader can be drawn to books that speak
to a special interest, such as sports, or pirates, or ice
skating, or animals. Or, a desire to write may be stimulated by
an invitation to describe one of the subjects your child loves.
Let the teacher know if there is something that really motivates
your child, so she can capitalize on it in the classroom.
• What your child's special needs are: That includes
anything from allergies to phobias, physical or medical
conditions, learning problems or preferences, special talents,
emotional concerns, and behavioral patterns. If you think an
issue might come up in these or other areas, let the teacher
know.
Back to top
7. Make sure your child is ready for school
All through elementary school, it's the parent's job to make sure a
child:
• Gets to bed at a reasonable hour. That means around
7:30 to 8 p.m. Children who regularly go to bed later on school
nights have a hard time keeping up in school, teachers say. They
end up being tired and grouchy, they're more likely to have
behavioral problems, and they aren't able to fulfill their
academic potential. Even sleep specialists are now beginning to
believe that certain behavioral and learning problems among
children are the result of undetected sleep deprivation.
The bottom line is that a good night's sleep is the best
guarantee of a pleasant and productive day at school.
• Eats a filling and nutritious breakfast. Children who
skip breakfast may not feel hungry when they first get to
school, but according to teachers, they usually hit a slump
around mid-morning and can't keep their minds on schoolwork,
until sometime after lunch.
If your child doesn't like the traditional foods kids eat for
breakfast, let him eat what he does like. There's nothing
nutritionally wrong with eating pizza or a peanut butter
sandwich in the morning. Or, if all else fails, send him to
school with a breakfast bar and a box of juice, so he can get
something in his belly before the first bell rings.
• Wears the proper clothes for both the day's activities and
the weather. A kid who goes to school without mittens, a
hat, or boots in the winter may have to sit inside for recess
while her classmates spend their excess energy on the
playground. A child who doesn't have shorts and sneakers on gym
day may end up sitting on the sidelines, while everyone else is
running around having fun.
Children don't always have the best judgment when it comes to
protective clothing. (If it's warm in the house, they assume
it's going to be warm outside, for example.) And they don't
always remember which days they have gym or other special
activities. So it's up to you to tell your child what to expect
in terms of weather, and what to wear — or at least bring
— to school.
• Labels all belongings. That includes his backpack,
lunch box, books, school supplies, gym clothes, gym bag, art
smock - and any other piece of clothing or personal item that
might somehow get separated from him during the school day.
• Has a lunch or lunch money. Most children aren't
thinking about lunch when they run out to meet the bus or jump
in the car in the morning. It's your job to either make it, take
it, or remind your child to remember about lunch.
• Puts her homework in her backpack, to bring to school.
• Remembers to bring special supplies for special days.
There's nothing more devastating to a young child than to be the
only kid who forgot his teddy bear on the day the class was
having a teddy bear picnic at school. Or to show up on picture
day wearing his rattiest clothes. Or to forget to wear the class
colors for the all-school field day. These are the kinds of
details most kids (and parents) have a hard time remembering. So
it's your job to find a way to help you both stay on top of
teacher requests. Hang up a big calendar with important dates
circled in red, for instance, or put up post-it notes on the
bathroom mirror the night before a special day at school.
• Knows exactly who will pick her up and what will happen
when the school day ends. Children will worry all day long
if they don't know what to expect when that final bell rings. So
remind your child when she's leaving home: "I'll see you at the
corner when the bus drops you off at three p.m." or "I'll be
home from work at six p.m. Then we'll have supper and I'll check
your homework." If you anticipate any change in the daily
routine, or in the person greeting your child after school, make
sure you give plenty of notice.
• Gets to school on time — every day. Chronic lateness is
not only disruptive to the entire class, it can make a child
feel out-of-step all day. Plus, it sends a message that school
is not important enough to be on time for.
Back to top
8. Spend time in your child's classroom
Even if it's only once a year, and you have to take a half-day off
from work to do it. All children get a real thrill when they see
their parent in their classroom. It sends a powerful message that
you care about your child, and about her education.
Seeing the classroom firsthand is also the best way for you to
get a perspective on what and how the teacher is teaching, what
kinds of challenges the teacher is facing, what the class chemistry
is, how your child fits in within the group, and how she interacts
with specific peers. Plus, it will give you a better idea of the
kinds of questions you should ask to draw your child out when
talking about school.
In most schools, you don't need an excuse to visit the classroom.
Just ask the teacher if you can come in and observe. If you want an
excuse, volunteer. Teachers are always looking for parents to:
• Share expertise in a particular subject area related to your
job or hobbies
• Read to children
• Conduct writing workshops, or help children "publish" their
books
• Tutor kids who need extra help, or work with a small group of
advanced students in math or other subjects
• Chaperone field trips
• Sew costumes for a school play, bake cupcakes for a party, or
cut out paper shapes for a class project
• Type up a classroom newsletter or literary magazine
If you have lots of time to give, you might consider:
• Being a "class parent" (the person who acts as a liaison
between the teacher and the other parents — rounding up
chaperones for school trips, for instance, or finding volunteers
to bake for the class bake sales)
• Being a playground monitor
• Joining the school's parent/teacher association
• Joining the principal's school advisory committee (if there is
one)
• Running for your local school board
At the very least, you should plan to make time to attend:
• Special events to which parents are invited (a Mother's Day
brunch, prepared by the children, for instance; or a Writer's
Tea, at which children read their stories aloud to their
parents)
• Special school events, such as the annual Holiday Show or
Spring Musical
• The school's annual open house
• All of the scheduled parent/teacher conferences
Back to top
9. Encourage responsibility and independence
Both of these are essential to independent learning. And both will
make it easier for your child to adjust to the demands of school,
and get along with his teacher and classmates. So, whenever
possible, let your child do things for himself — and for others.
For example, encourage him to:
• Play an active role in getting ready for school. hat
includes picking out school clothes (preferably the night
before), getting up on time (using an alarm clock, if
necessary), getting dressed, washing up and brushing his teeth,
getting his own breakfast ready, making up his bed, and checking
to make sure he has everything he needs in his backpack. Once
your child is physically capable of doing these things, let him
take charge. If necessary, make him a checklist to help him
remember everything that needs to be done.
• Develop a homework routine. While there's no set
formula, it will help if your child has a regular time and place
to do her homework each day. That way she's less likely to
forget to do it, and less likely to fight about doing it "later
on."
• Unpack his own backpack. Teach him that as soon as he
gets home from school, he should unpack his backpack, put his
homework materials in his homework place, and hand you (or put
in a special place) any newsletters, notes from the teacher,
papers to sign, or special work he's brought home. Then
he can watch TV, or have his snack, or do whatever else is
planned.
If you make this part of a daily routine, you're less likely to
be hit during the morning rush with, "Oh, no! I'm supposed to
bring in cupcakes for the party today" or "Today's the day
you're supposed to come to school for our science fair."
• Pick up her own mess. That includes toys scattered on
the living room floor, bikes, and roller skates left out on the
driveway, and wet towels left cold and lonely on the bathroom
floor. It may take longer and require more effort for you to
insist that your child pick things up herself, but in the long
run it's better for her than having you always do it. In school,
she won't have a choice.
• Get involved in family meals. Young children can set
the table or help with the grocery list.
• Perform regular chores that benefit the entire family.
Even little things like taking out the trash regularly will help
your child see herself as part of a larger family team. It will
also build her sense of competence and confidence.
Back to top
10. Ask your child about school every day
It isn't always easy to get the scoop on school from your own child.
If you ask a perfectly normal, sincere question like, "What did you
do at school today?", you're likely to get the classic response:
"Nothing."
One reason is that so many things happen in the classroom that
it's hard for the average child to answer a question like that. She
can't remember everything she did, and even if she could, she
wouldn't know where to start. It doesn't help to ask, "What did you
learn at school today?" or "How was school today?" either. Both will
elicit one-word answers ("Nothing" or "Fine"), because they're too
broad and too vague for most children to process.
But it's still important to ask about school, because it teaches
your child that school is important, and that you really are
interested in her life. So how can you get your child to open up?
Here's what other parents say really works:
• Don't ask too soon. "When my son gets off the
bus, the last thing he wants to do is talk about school," says
parent Mary Mitchell. "He's too busy thinking about playing with
his toys or visiting his friends. So I've learned to let him
chill out and play awhile before asking any questions."
• Develop a ritual. "For some reason, the only time my
5-year-old son, Jack, really opens up about school is when he's
taking a bath," says mother Tamara Eberlein. "So every night,
when he gets into the tub, my husband sits with him for ten or
fifteen minutes, and Jack tells him everything that happened at
school. He really looks forward to that time with his father."
"For my son, the magic moment is bedtime," says parent Charles
James. "He's probably just trying to stall me, so he can stay up
later. But when he's all tucked in and the lights are off, I
hear the most detailed descriptions about school."
• Ask specific questions. "I get the best responses when
I ask my son about something I'm pretty sure he did at school
that day," says parent Julie Ritzer Ross. For instance: "Did the
teacher read any new books today? Did you learn any new songs
during music class? Who sat next to you at lunch? How did you do
on your spelling test?" The more specific you can be, the
better.
• Read everything the teacher sends home. "The notes and
newsletters that come home in my son's backpack are really the
most reliable sources of information," says Charles James. "I
find out what my son is learning about, what's coming up in
terms of special events or field trips, what kind of help the
teacher could use in the classroom, and what I can do at home to
reinforce what my son is learning in school. It's not always
easy to find time to read them, but it's worth the effort
because it helps me fill in the blanks from conversations with
my son."
• Give your child space. Some children like to think of
school as their own private world, where their parents and
siblings can't intrude. If your child is like that, don't push.
Let him know you're interested in his school day, and let him
approach you if he has anything really important to share. Then
stay in touch behind the scenes with the teacher, to make sure
everything's going okay.