[Laughing]
[No Audible Dialogue]
[Children Chattering, Laughing In Distance]
[Man Speaking Spanish In Distance]
[Speaking Spanish]
[People Chattering]
[Spanish]
Uh, what about, "The Big One only gets bigger"?
"Everyone wants a Big One."
- I got a big one. Sorry. - [Groans]
- How about just, like, "Eat me." - [All Laughing]
Okay, okay. There's no shortage of future slogans. Phil, what have you got?
Well, um, same-store sales are up 8.4% this quarter...
which is just... amazing.
And the increase extends across every demographic.
It's "tweens," heavy users, minivan dads, even seniors.
So, clearly, the Big One is not only a big hit...
it is quickly becoming the flagship of our brand.
Which we'll be building on, both in the upcoming second half of our campaign...
and in merchandising.
Terrific. Don, what about those Little Big Ones?
Well, uh, last week, you know, we did a pretty extensive focus group...
with some of the kids from Martin Luther King Elementary.
- Yeah? - And it went great.
Tested 91% in the top three boxes. They loved 'em.
What is it now, eight to a bag?
- No, no, no. You're thinking about the Itty Bittys. - Oh.
No, no. We figure three Little Big Ones for each kid's meal...
is gonna work out about right.
But we wanna do a little more testing on that as well.
- How about Disney? - No word yet.
Also, the PBS deal doesn't seem to be happening.
Uh, apparently Burger King and McDonald's have the Teletubbies all locked up.
Fuck 'em.
[Sniffing]
That's wonderful.
Yeah? You like that? That's the Barbecue Big One.
Wow. Tastes like it's right off the grill.
You don't think it needs liquid smoke or any other kind of flavorings?
No. No, no, no. I think it's perfect.
- Let's test that. - Okay. Try this one.
- I don't know. - Yeah. These Caribbean seasonings are kind of tricky.
We're calling 'em Calypso Chicken Tenders.
I think people are gonna have an expectation for, uh...
maybe a touch of lime.
Oh, lime? Lime's easy.
I just held back on the terpinoline on this to keep the flavorings subtle.
But I can always go back and add more.
- Yeah. Why don't you try that? - I'll keep working on it.
[Man] I really, really enjoyed it. You were wonderful.
Yeah, yeah. [Chuckling]
Okay. Look, I gotta go.
I'll talk to you later. Yeah, bye.
- [Handset Clatters] - Thanks, Louise.
- [Door Closes] - Donny boy. Have a seat.
Thanks for stopping by.
So, what do you think of everything?
It's good, good. I'm glad to see the Big One doin' so well.
Hmm. Listen, you ever run into a guy named Harry Rydell...
executive V.P. Out of the Chicago office?
I don't think so.
He works closely with our suppliers.
A little too closely, if you ask me.
What do you mean?
I have a friend that teaches food science over at A&M- microbiology.
And this semester, a couple of his grad students...
decided to culture some patties from a bunch of fast-food chains.
- Mm-hmm. - Well- [Sighs]
They got ahold of a couple of Big Ones- frozen patties.
Don't ask me how.
And the fecal coliform counts were just off the charts.
I'm concerned that this could be a problem for us.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Uh- Not exactly.
I'm saying there's shit in the meat.
[Hushed Chattering]
[Both Speaking Spanish]
Mm-hmm.
Mmm.
"The drawbridge was down. The great gate stood wide.
"I entered without challenge...
my own heels making the only sounds I heard." - Keep going. - No.
- It's bedtime. - Just one more.
- Please. - No. That's it.
[Kisses] Good night, Stevie.
Hey.
- I think I may have to miss your history exhibit on Thursday. - Why?
Well, you know how Daddy has to go out of town for work every now and then?
- Yeah, but I thought you didn't have to. - Well, not as much.
But I gotta go to Colorado for a couple of days.
All right? I'll be home for the weekend though.
Okay.
I love you guys.
- Too much E. Coli in stuff. People could get sick. - [Newscast, Indistinct]
Is that the one that can kill kids?
I don't know. I don't think so.
I mean, nobody's gotten sick or anything.
ButJack says too much cow manure is somehow getting into the meat.
That's disgusting.
That's my new job. Same office- still dealing with bullshit.
[Woman] Well, I guess it is a marketing issue after all.
If the kids die from eating your burgers...
it makes them much harder to sell.
- That's right. Marketing 101. - [Chuckles]
Don't kill the customer.
- Bad for repeat business. - [Laughs]
Mm-hmm.
- [Engine Roaring] - [Shouting]
[Vehicle Departing]
?Coco?
[Vehicle Horn Honking In Distance]
?Coco?
[Whispering]
[Cell Phone Ringing]
Hi.
No.
I sent that form in. I paid it.
Hey, you tell that coach and that whole fucking league...
if he doesn't play, I'm gonna kick all their asses.
Si. Yeah, yeah.
I just did a pickup. I'll talk to you later.
[Older Man]
[Door Opens, Closes]
[Man]
[Engine Starts]
[Coughs]
[Mooing]
[Mooing Continues]
[Exhales]
- [Spanish] - [Woman] Gracias.
- [Male Announcer Speaking Spanish] - [Knocking]
No.
[Benny]
- Si. - Si.
[Woman, Moaning] Oh, God! Yeah!
- [Woman #2] You like the way that feels? - [Woman #1 Continues Moaning]
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
- [Woman #2] That's right, bitch. - [Woman #1 Gasping, Moaning]
- Do you like it when I pull your hair? - Yes! Yes, pull my hair!
- That's right, slut. - [Moaning] I love it when you call me "slut." Let's go. Stand up.
Yo. Stand up. Come on. Stand up.
Hey!
Stand up.
[Spanish]
What the fuck you doin'?
Fuckin' people on vacation.
Go.
[Kisses]
[Sighs]
- [Door Opens] - [Chuckling] Hang on a second.
[Timer Beeping]
Welcome to Mickeys. Can I take your order?
Yeah. I'm thinkin' about a Big One.
Okay. Would you like some large fries with that?
No. No, thanks. Not tonight.
- Our supervalue drink? - I'll have a chocolate shake and a water.
All right. Would you like any dessert with that?
- A brownie pie or a turnover? - No, not tonight.
Okay. Uh, that'll be 4.98.
- [Register Whirs] - Okay. Here you go.
So, what's your favorite thing on the menu?
I like everything.
- Well, I know that's not true. - [Laughing]
But you did give me the correct answer.
I was just testing you. I'm actually a vice president of marketing for Mickeys.
- Really? - Yeah. It's true.
Just here in town for a couple of days seein' where the Big Ones come from.
- Here? - Oh, no, not here.
But at Uni-Globe Meat Packing just outside of town.
That's where every single Big One patty in the entire country gets made.
- No way. - Yeah.
- It's amazing. - Wow.
Lettuce.
Pickles and cheese.
Special- I think I burned the meat.
Amber. Order up.
- There you go. - Okay. Thank you.
- What's your name? - Amber.
Right. Don Anderson.
- It's nice to meet you. - You too.
- Maybe I'll see you around. - All right. I'm always here.
Bye.
Brian, can I get a Coffee Freezer?
[Speaking Spanish]
[Man] Bring it over to the scalding tank.
[Continues, Indistinct]
[Man Speaking Spanish]
[Man Speaking Spanish]
[Beeping]
Amber, hon, electric is 131 for last month.
Mom, I gotta pay my car insurance.
Well, anything helps.
So how's your day lookin'?
I have band practice after school, then work at 6:00.
Well, don't let them keep you past 10:00.
I'll try to get out of there. Tony's been pretty cool about letting me out early.
[Blowing] Good.
[Engine Starts]
[Chattering]
Hey.
- Hey, Amber. - Hey, David.
- Hola. - Hola.
[Men Chattering]
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
[Laughs]
[Man] And right over here, Don...
we mix our product with a low-fat product...
from about a half a dozen other plants.
~~ [Electronic Vocalizing]
[Loud Humming]
The liquefied gas in the cylinder...
takes 'em down to 40 degrees below zero!
[Don] Wow. That's a lot of Big Ones.
Yeah. Well, somewhere in Kansas City...
someone will be eating these tomorrow night.
~~ [Vocalizing]
[Man On Video]... can be used to explain how accidents happen to other people.
But accidents don't just happen to other people.
Accident prevention is each individual's responsibility.
This program is designed to make you think more about accident causes...
and how you can prevent injuries.
If you eliminate the cause of accidents...
you're on your way to an accident-free workplace and lifetime.
Safety works in your home also. It works when you're- [Chattering]
Yo. You heard about the robbery last night?
- No. Where? - At the McDonald's over on Cayenne.
They came in at closing time and put everyone in the basement.
Said they'd get shot if they came out.
- And boom- 6,000 bucks. - No way.
- Yeah. 6,000 in cash. - In cash?
Hell's yeah. How many times you seen somebody buy their McNuggets with a credit card?
- Good point. - They said it was the third fast-food place in Cody...
to get robbed in the last few weeks.
They hit Fuddruckers on Thursday night. We're probably next.
All the more reason for you guys to quit.
I mean, why do you even work there?
Not all of us can get hired at the Banana Republic.
[People Speaking Spanish]
Yo! Fuck y'all doin' in my truck?
[Coco]
[Woman]
Mike.
Yeah, the Big One's been great. Really great.
Sales keep creepin' up. There's been no drop off.
That's what we're hearin'.
- I've had this location 12 years. - Yeah?
And you'd have to go way back- maybe even to the original Teeny-Weenys promotion- to see anything like this.
- You guys hit a home run. - Well, hey, we all did.
Definitely. [Chuckles]
Hey, Tony, have you ever- Have you ever been out to the U.M.P. Plant?
Uh, no, I haven't.
I've been hearin' some mixed things about the place.
I've heard all sorts of nasty stuff goes on there.
You have? Like what?
I don't know. Um- I used to have a friend who used to work there...
and he used to tell me all sorts of things.
Did you know that's where the Big Ones come from?
This was a long time back. I mean- Look, my friend could have been full of shit.
Yeah, 'cause I was out there. I mean, the place is- It's spotless.
- Yeah? - Oh, yeah. It's high-tech, state-of-the-art stuff.
Stainless steel everywhere.
People wearin' gloves and clean white coats. I mean- [Clicks Tongue]
Well, might be a lot different now.
So, um, the friend-You think I might be able to give him a call?
I don't know. He split a long time ago.
I haven't really talked to him.
Well- Right.
My wife's got an uncle. He can tell you all about that place.
- Does he work out there? - Oh, no, no. He used to sell 'em cattle.
But he's a real... character.
You know, been on the ranch a little too long.
- [Chuckling] - You think he'd talk to me?
Oh, he'll talk to you.
Might scare you though. He's a little intense.
I'll give you his number. His name is Rudy.
[Man Speaking Spanish]
[Woman Speaking Spanish]
Hey. Hey!
What the fuck you doin'? What the fuck- Are you fuckin' retarded?
[Spanish]
Say it. "Grade 'A '." Say it.
- [Crying] Grade "A." - Thank you.
Fuckin' know you understand me. You people act like I'm a fuckin' retard.
- Si. - Get back to work.
Coco.
- ~~ [Background: Latin Rap] - [Woman Moaning]
- ~~ [Continues] - Yeah, like that. Like that.
Like that. [Muttering, Grunting]
[Both Moan, Gasp]
[Clattering]
[Patties Clattering]
You know, if that safe in McDonald's was holding six grand...
Tony must have at least five or six locked away in there.
Maybe more. You think he goes to the bank every day?
That's a good question.
Tim says that over where he works...
that they don't even have a safe.
That's 'cause nobody ever eats there.
That chicken fajita I had the other night was some slimy shit.
Yeah, well, there's a reason why it only costs 99 cents.
There may be five or six grand in Tony's safe every night...
just sittin' in there, while we're out here gettin' paid dick to mess with this shit.
Yeah, no kidding.
And Tony's a real prick too, you know?
I always catch him checkin' out Amber's ass...
and he's, like, five times her age.
Hey, the cops must have these places totally staked out at night.
[Whispering] 'Cause they're just waitin' for another robbery.
The best time to do it would be first thing in the morning...
around opening time.
Okay. Here's how it goes down.
We come in here first thing in the morning.
- It's still dark, no traffic. - Uh-huh.
Everybody's feelin' calm and sleepy.
[Imitates Shotgun Loading]
We'll be taking this order to go, motherfucker.
If you got the balls, bitch.
[Imitates Shotgun Blast]
- [Don] I'm supposed to go out to some ranch. - [Man On TV, Indistinct]
Maybe that'll be worth something. I don't know.
Well, I'm meetin' with Harry on Friday.
So I should be back on Saturday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put-Put him on.
- [TV]... but the disease that spreads- - Who's this?
Hello, Stevie.
[Spanish]
[Beeps]
[TV: Spanish] Couple of guys invited me to a party at the "U" on Saturday night.
- You wanna come? - ~~ [Background: Rock, Indistinct] Do they know you go to Cody?
For some reason, they think I'm a freshman in college.
[Laughing] Oh, I wonder why.
One of them is really hot.
Oh, I gotta work that night.
You work way too much.
[Vehicle Approaching]
You the one that called?
Yeah. Hi there. I'm Don.
Climb on over.
- Ever been out here before? - Nope.
It's beautiful.
You ever been on a ranch before?
Yeah, when I was a kid, at camp.
How, uh- How many acres do you have, Rudy?
Well, you wouldn't want to have to walk your way outta here. That's for sure.
Come on up and meet my new neighbors.
Aw. No.
Aw, geez.
- When did all this happen? - Last couple of years.
Local rancher lost control of the land.
Banks took it and sold it to real estate speculators.
What the hell happened over there?
- Meth freaks. - Out here?
They find a quiet little place, start cookin'- till somethin' blows up or burns down.
Wow.
Past year and a half, I've had two bodies dumped on my land.
Dead bodies?
One of'em was rolled up in this nice-lookin' carpet.
Scared the shit out of my foreman.
They dump dead dogs and cats...
and all other sorts of garbage on my land.
Seems like I spend half my time just defendin' the place.
I gotta go to court next week...
to fight off some private corporation from Denver...
wants to build a toll road across my land.
Eminent domain, my ass.
They got another word for it- robbery.
[Sighs] You wanna open that up for me?
You should get a clicker.
[Laughs]
Hey, Rudy. You know anybody over at Uni-Globe Meat Packing?
- Sure. - What do you think of'em?
I think they're a fine bunch.
Really?
They'll slit your throat for a nickel.
Nothin' personal. They just want the extra nickel.
- Well, who do you know over there? - I know all of'em.
- I sold cattle to 'em for years. - Oh.
More important, I know their type.
They are the meanest, toughest sons of bitches, and they're proud of it.
But that's nothin' new.
My granddad went up against the meat packers in 1919.
Testified in Congress about their price-fixing.
And after that, none of them would buy his cattle.
U.M.P. And all the rest tried to run him out of the business.
- Okay, but that was a long time ago. - Yeah.
And the big packers are even worse today. They're even bigger today.
- Really? - And meaner.
Hell, old Dwight D. Eisenhower would've shut 'em down.
He wouldn't have stood for their crap.
Do you think they would knowingly sell us contaminated meat?
Oh, come on.
Workers are gettin' their arms cut off over there.
You don't know who you're dealin' with.
No. No, I don't. Please, help me.
L- I was at the plant. It seemed clean to me.
They show you the kill floor?
I don't know. I saw a lot of things.
You'd remember.
You see any cattle gettin' their heads cut off?
Were you walkin' ankle-deep in blood?
[Laughs] No.
[Chuckles] So they didn't show you a damn thing.
Okay, but how- How... would cow manure get into the meat?
Rita.
[Spanish]
- No, no. Thanks, I'm fine. - You sure?
- Yes, thank you. - I'll have some.
Hey, Rita, is your brother still workin' over at U.M. P?
How's he doin'?
Oh, he has a good job now. He's a supervisor in Trim.
- Hmm. - Mr. Anderson here would like to know...
if the meat over there is clean.
[Scoffs, Laughs]
He wants to know how cow manure...
could ever possibly wind up in his hamburger.
Well, there's lots of ways.
My brother used to work at the gut table.
And, you know, they have to pull out the intestines and the stomachs.
And theyjust don't have enough time to do it right.
The line is moving too fast.
So when they're pulling the guts out- and they make a mistake- all the poop and stuff just pours out all over the meat.
Okay, okay, okay. All right.
But, really, how often does that happen?
Every day.
- We got any cookies back there? - I'll bring a plate of them.
Anything else you want to know?
[Sighs] No. No, that's, uh, plenty. Thanks.
This isn't about good people versus bad people.
It's about the machine that's taking over this country.
It's like somethin' out of science fiction.
The land, the cattle, human beings.
This machine don't give a shit.
Pennies a pound. Pennies a pound.
That's all it cares about. A few more pennies a pound.
[Exhales]
- Sounds pretty bleak. - [Scoffs]
By the way, Don, you seem like a nice fella.
But the food your company sells is crap- total crap- even when there isn't manure in it.
[Claps Hands Softly]
~~ [Background: Latin Rap] [Hisses]
Eh? [Spanish]
[Scoffs]
Si.
Bueno.
[Shrieking]
[Spanish]
[Shrieking Continues]
[Whimpering]
Andale. [Laughs]
[Man] Thank God old Mr. Nathan come in.
He took one look at me. Said, " Harry...
"you are the scariest fucking clown I've ever seen.
Take that off immediately." And that was that.
I came about that close to becoming the first Mickey.
Which would have been a disaster, because I'd have probably killed somebody.
Mmm. What do you think? I know it's not Mickeys.
- Mmm. - But it's good, right? Good burger.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's-It's great.
[Clears Throat]
- Harry, what's goin' on out at U.M. P? - Beg your pardon?
Yeah, what's really goin' on out there- with the meat?
You're supposed to be our conduit to that place.
- They didn't give you the tour? - Yeah. Yeah.
Who took you through there?
Uh, Terry?
- Oh, boy. - No, no, no.
He was- Listen, he was great. He was fine.
I just- [Sighs]
I've been talkin' to a lot of people around town...
and I've been hearing some bad things about that plant.
You know, things they don't show you on the tour.
Sounds like they might be running the production line too fast, you know?
- Hmm. - People are gettin' hurt out there every day.
They're gettin'cut up.
One guy lost his entire arm.
These poor Mexicans, they come over here...
and U.M.P. Treats 'em like shit.
And the meat- I gotta tell you somethin'.
Harry, the meat is filthy.
Do you know they got untrained people workin' at the gut table?
- Really? The gut table? - Yeah. I mean- - Harry, there's shit in our meat. - [Woman] Harry.
- Hi. - Hey.
- I heard you were here today. - How are you doin', huh?
- Ah, can't complain. - Good. Lisa, I want you to meet Don Anderson.
- He just came to the company from CNN. - ESPN actually.
- Don is the inventor of the Big One. - Really?
No. My team came up with the name.
You're just being humble. It was pure genius, Don.
- It's a good name for a burger, isn't it? - It sure is.
It's very nice to meet you. Can I get you another Fat Tire?
I would love another Fat Tire. You want a beer, Don?
- No, thanks. - Just one.
- All right. - Just one. All right.
Mmm!
You know...
I think there might be a little bit of shit right here in this meat.
Just a teeny little bit. Microscopic.
Your tests say that the meat we're getting from U.M.P. Is clean.
It's not. I've seen independent tests that say that it's not.
There's always been a little shit in the meat.
You've probably been eatin' it your whole life.
Yeah? Well, I prefer not to, Harry.
Well, I don't know who you been talkin' to, Don...
but there is absolutely nothing illegal goin' on here, okay?
Meat is supposed to be cooked.
And the grills at Mickeys are calibrated carefully...
to make sure it kills every little bit of the bad stuff that's in there.
- That might be kinda tough to explain to our customers. - Explain what?
Listen, there is cow shit in our meat because we're running the line too fast.
Just cook it. That's all you need to do.
You see? That's one of the things that's just buggin'me about this country.
Really buggin' me.
Americans have become these-these great big fraidy cats.
Afraid of everything. Everything's gotta be sterile and germfree.
- Well, everybody needs to grow up. - [Loud Slap]
That's what they need.
You wanna be safe? Huh? Perfectly safe?
Well, forget about it. That's not gonna happen. Okay?
Everybody just needs to get that through their head.
Just cook the meat, and you'll be fine.
I can't believe I'm hearing this.
You've known all about this?
I'm shocked.
Donny boy, you just gotta try and step back and look at the big picture.
40,000 people die in automobile accidents every year.
Does that mean Detroit should stop making cars?
Does it?
- Of course not. - [Sighs]
You ever been down to Mexico?
- What's that have to do with anything? - It's beautiful down there.
Really beautiful. Great beaches. Gorgeous.
But poor. Poor.
Poorest fuckin'place I ever been, I think.
Guy down there makes three, maybe four dollars a day.
A day, Don.
Now, that same guy, he comes up here...
he gets a job workin' for U.M.P. - makin' $10 an hour.
That's more money in one day than he makes back home in a whole month.
So, frankly, I don't see the problem.
Nobody's makin' these people come up here. Right?
Nobody's tellin' them to come work for U.M.P.
- Okay, okay. But that's not the point. - And you know what?
I admire these people. Okay?
I really do. They're hard workers.
They're workin' hard, and they're trying to improve their lives. Okay?
Now, isn't that what our ancestors did?
Isn't that what made this country the great country that it is today? Huh?
And you wanna try and stop 'em?
You wanna tell 'em that you know what's best for 'em?
Well, most people don't like to be told what's best for 'em.
Well, what's goin' on at U.M.P. Is unacceptable.
And I'm gonna have to tellJack about all this.
[Laughs]
Oh. Gonna tellJack, huh?
I've been workin' for this company almost 30 years.
Hell, I grew up right down the street from the Nathans...
when we were all back in Muncie.
So, here's my little piece of friendly advice to you, Donny boy.
I'd be careful how close I got toJack.
See, your boyJack is about this close...
to gettin' his tit caught in the ringer.
He's under investigation, okay?
Cookin'the books, paddin'his expense account.
Not to mention bonin' his own secretary, okay?
- And that is not the kind of company that we want to run. - Louise?
That's right.
Your buddyJack's got two, maybe three months before he's out the door.
- Could be sooner. - He's sleeping with Louise?
And you know what, Don?
You should be thankin' me instead of doin' all this complainin'.
I negotiated a hell of a good price with U.M.P.
Okay? I negotiated a great price for your fuckin' meat.
Hell, if it weren't for me, there wouldn't be no Big One, Don.
I'd like to see you find a supplier...
that will sell you Grade "A" chuck at 40 cents a pound.
I'd like to see that.
Have-Have you ever met Louise?
Have I ever met her?
Twenty years ago, I gave her that job.
She was a good-lookin' woman back then too.
[Sighs]
It is a sad fact oflife, Don.
But the truth is...
we all have to eat a little shit from time to time.
But just for the record, I want you to know that I'm with you on this.
Okay? I really am. I'm gonna go down there.
I'm gonna see what the hell's goin' on.
If I have to, I'm gonna kick some ass.
You know what, Harry?
I don't think that's gonna be good enough.
You seem like a real bright guy, Don.
I'd hate to see you get caught up in something you couldn't get out of.
Give it some thought.
Why don't you take some of these fries home with you?
I'm not gonna finish 'em.
[Deep Breath]
No. No, it's not that simple.
There is something definitely weird going on between Jack and Harry...
and, either way, I can lose this job.
Either way.
No. No, we're not gonna move again. That's- That's not gonna happen.
Well, just tellJay to wait a moment.
This is important. Well, have him wait!
[Sighs]
Yeah.
I'll- I'll talk to you later.
[Beeps]
No, no. Look, Jack, it's gone great.
I, uh- I've been out to the plant. I spoke to some workers.
I even tracked down this old rancher...
who's dealt with these guys for years.
So, there's a lot of things, but- Yeah. No, of course I met with Harry.
Yeah. He's-He's a- interesting guy. You were right.
But l- I don't think that he's... a crook.
Well, I don't know.
All right.
Then, uh...
I would probably recommend...
we do some additional testing...
in the near future.
See what that shows.
Yeah.
- Will you be keeping this on your American Express? - Sure.
- I have three pay-per-view movies at 7.95 each. - Uh-huh.
- I have three pay-per-view movies at 7.95 each. - Uh-huh.
- Would you like to join our Executive Guest Advantage program? - No.
- Did you enjoy your stay with us? - Not really.
- Were you here on business or pleasure? - Business.
Is there anything we can do in the future to make your stay with us more enjoyable?
You can give me my bill.
Bye-bye, Mr. Anderson. Have a great day.
[Chattering]
- Thanks a lot. - This looks good.
Hi. Have you guys decided on anything?
Uh, two Chinese chicken salad, please...
y two Coca-Colas, please.
Anything to start?
Okay, uh, I'll be right back with those Cokes.
Oh.
Thanks.
Oh.
- [Crickets Chirping] - [Typing]
[Footsteps Approaching]
- Hey. - How was Roger?
- Roger is the "boringest" person I ever met. - [Laughing]
- Oh, sorry. - What are you up to?
- Um, I'm writing a biology paper. - What's it about?
History of genetics. I'm into all that sort of thing.
When's it due?
- Tuesday. - Next week?
Yeah, I just have a bunch of stuff due before then.
Where did you come from?
I was never this good. And your father...
he was a lazy asshole.
- Mom. - What? He had other people write his papers for him.
- Hmm, I bet you were one of them. - Mmm.
- Hey. - Screw you. [Laughs]
[Sighs]
We got a new shipment of puppies today.
I wanna take 'em all home.
Don't, Mom.
Well, it's sad. Loretta said they just make those cages big enough to be legal...
but small enough so people will get the puppies outta there.
When I left the store tonight, I just wanted to open all those cages...
- and let all those little puppies run free. - Mom.
- They are so cute. - Mom, I'm trying to work.
Okay, but you have to come and see them tomorrow.
[Typing]
- Too slow, Amber. Too slow. - Take it easy!
- Go to bed! - [Chuckles]
[Both Laughing]
[Murmurs]
[Laughing]
[Children Chattering]
[Women Speaking Spanish]
[Raps On Counter]
[Door Closes]
- [Beeps] - [Sniffles]
Hola. Hey, it's me.
Call me. ?Si?
[Sniffling Continues]
- I don't have a problem with it. - Are you worried?
- Uncle Pete! - Hey!
- Oh, God! - [Chuckles]
- What is with the uniforms? - Sorry, Pete, we have jobs.
Somebody put a blanket on her.
Okay? All right? I cannot believe...
my beautiful Amber is in a damn Mickeys uniform.
- I can't look at you in that. - That's what you wear when you have a real job.
- You smell like chicken nuggets. - She has a job!
- Give me a break! - All right. All right.
- Well, except for the uniform. Let's see- - You're dumb.
- You look great. You do. You look fantastic. - Thank you.
- It's great to see you. - Good to see you.
- All right. - How long are you here for?
Just for the night. I'm on my way up to Bozeman. No, don't- - I don't think I can talk to you in that thing. - Leave her alone!
- Honey, you got some homework? - Oh, not much.
Get it done, change your clothes and go out with Uncle Pete.
I have a date I can't break. Had I known you were coming- - What, you would have changed your plans? - No.
- How's Gabe? - He's great. He's walking and talking.
- Hey, how's Michelle? - [Crunching] Mmm.
Is that Mrs. Whiskers?
Check him out. Check him out.
- Oh, he's so big. - Right?
- Here. - Hey!
- ~~ [Background: Dance] - Thank you.
- Man, this place is great. - Mmm.
Yeah, you are only allowed to come here with me.
So, are you on the pill?
- Um, no. - No? Do you have a boyfriend?
- Not really. I'm kinda in between. - Mm-hmm.
Well, they are circling you like sharks.
Right? I'm gonna come back here and find that you got, like...
- a little baby fry cook in the oven. - You know what?
- What? - I remember you taking me to Mickeys when I was a kid.
- No, did I? - Yes.
I was being lazy. I apologize. Now I hate everything about the place.
Mom said it was a big deal when the first Mickeys opened here.
[Mock Exclamation] It was tremendous.
It was. I mean, you know- Cody was on the map.
The-The first one didn't bother me. It was just the 400th...
that started to, you know, get under my skin.
- Well, I need the money. I really do. - Yeah?
There's no other jobs here, right? You tried A.S.P.C.A. You tried the park services.
You tried day care. Nobody around here needs their kids to be taken care of?
- [Clicks Tongue] - [Sighs]
- It was the first job I could find. - Mm-hmm.
I mean, a friend of mine worked there. What do you want to hear?
I'm not criticizing you, all right? I think you are great.
I just wanna know your timeline for gettin' outta here.
- I wanna go to college. - Good.
I'm thinking Oregon or Montana.
- What ya gonna study? - I don't know.
I wanna- I wanna write.
I like photography.
But I think I wanna study science, so- aeronautical engineering.
- Aeronautical engineering? - Yeah.
I mean, if I could do anything in the world...
I'd be an astronaut.
- All right, well, fucking-A, do it. - Okay.
But you need to get outta here to do that.
Was it hard leaving Cody back when you were a teenager?
No, not for me. Your mom, though, that was a different story.
I was on the way. Kinda cuts down on your options.
Mm-hmm. That is why, if, by the age of 21...
you have not missed one menstrual cycle...
- I will give you $1,000. - Will you shut up? Okay?
- I am not talking to my uncle about sex. - Okay.
I read this study the other day about, uh...
people who are happiest with their lives.
And, uh, the ones who have followed their passion, right...
even if they weren't, you know, technically successful, right?
When they were looking back at their life, they had fewer regrets.
You know, they felt their life had been more fulfilling.
- Yeah, that makes sense, I guess. - Yeah, it does.
So, bottom line is, do not listen to me. Do not listen to your mother.
Listen to yourself.
I mean, if you wanna be like everybody else...
just do what everybody's telling you to do.
Hmm.
And what about you? Are you doing what you always wanted to do?
Well, if I jump back to when I was your age- No, I don't think I would be wildly impressed.
All right? I don't- l- But, you know, I'm all right with what I'm doing.
And, you know, I'm really all right with what I'm not doing.
- Is that your move? - Yeah.
- Thuh-bop! - Dang it.
Yep. So- [Sing-Song] Hello.
- Amber, why are you still up? - Well, why do you have my poncho on?
- It's fine. - How was it, hmm?
- [Sighs] - Well, she's home fairly early, if that signifies anything.
Oh, no, no, no. That doesn't mean anything. Your mother-She's amazing.
You wouldn't believe what she could get accomplished in a short period of time.
- Screw you both. - [Gasps]
- [Chuckles] - Hey, Sis. Sis-Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey.
So, what would you say? Is Cody a better town today...
- or back when we were kids? - Well, I know what you would say.
- What? - Your uncle hates everything, Amber.
You know, I actually think it's better now. There's more stuff to do.
Oh, yeah. There's more to do. You got the Wal-Mart, the Kmart and the Target, right?
You got Chuck E. Cheese. You got Taco Bell.
You got Arby's. You got Mickeys. You got Denny's.
You've got, uh, Chili's.
You got Applebee's. You got Wendy's. You got Hardee's, right?
You got the- the K.F.C., the IHOP.
- [Shrieks] - [Groans] Do they still have that Der Wienerschnitzel?
- Oh, yeah. - Oh, thank God it's still hanging in there.
I don't know about you, but I could just piss away...
a whole Sunday afternoon at the Sunglass Hut.
- You know? - Have you ever been to the Sunglass Hut?
No, I never have. I'm not trying to come off like some Polly Perfect here.
I'm going to make some cabinets...
for some rich New York investment banker fuck...
who probably spends two weeks a year at his Montana ranch, so don't listen to me.
- I'm not. - I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to your daughter.
I'm probably just going through some full-of-shit, early middle-age period.
I don't think you're full of shit.
Thank you. She's so nice. What happened to you?
No, no, sweetheart, don't contradict your mother. He is full of shit.
I don't waste a lot of time thinking about this stuff.
- [Groans] - Democrats, Republicans- - They're all crooks. - This is why revolutions are meant for the young.
If you don't do it now, you're never gonna.
Uniform- uniformity. Conform- conformity.
Monogamy- monotony.
No wonder you're not still married.
- Stupid- stupidity. - Yeah, look- Hey, the facts are not always friendly.
Listen to who's giving the lecture here, Amber.
Your uncle did not finish college.
- Jesus! Mm-hmm. Oh! - Okay?
- He lived in a camper for 18 months. - An Airstream!
- This is not a role model. - [Bottles Clanking]
Remind me to deprogram you after he leaves.
Hey, Mom said you got kicked out of college.
- Oh, well, thanks, Mom. - Yeah, your mug shots are in all the papers.
Yeah, with eight others. I was at Colorado University. We were the C.U. Nine.
Yeah, that notorious band of Midwestern, white freedom fighters.
No, no, no. We took over the chancellor's office.
All right, we were protesting the college's investment in South Africa.
- So what happened? - All right, well, so, after about four hours...
- they come bursting through this barricade- - Okay, that was two chalkboards.
- It's not two chalkboards. - It was too.
We had rope with some chair- They practically beat the shit out of all of us.
They treated us like a band of terrorists.
You got your little ass kicked out of college...
- which he never finished. - Big deal.
- It cost our dad $2,000 in legal fees. - I eventually paid him back.
Anyway, meanwhile- Cut to- About a year later, the college divests all its holdings in South Africa...
and a little while after that, Nelson Mandela is a free man.
- All because of the "C.U. Nine." - No, nobody said that. Nobody even thought that.
The point is... that, you know, if enough people...
start thinking about something and trying to actually do something...
you can change things for the better.
I believe that.
- I hope they can change for the better. - Don't just hope.
You can't sit back and hope. You have to do something.
In a town like this, hope will kill you.
It's your move.
- [Machinery Whirring] - [Speaking Spanish]
[Man] ?Rapido!
- [Spanish] - ?Rapido!
[People Speaking Spanish]
[Whirring]
?Rapido!
[Spanish]
- Eh. - [Man Shouting In Spanish]
- [Metal Clanking] - [Man Shouting]
Ah?
[Mike]
Hey, hey. You fucking crazy, huh?
Everybody else, stop fucking smiling and get back to work!
[Whispering] Coco.
Coco. Coco.
Is she okay?
She needs to start sleeping at night.
So do you.
How's Stan's back doing?
He complains about it all the time, but he's fine.
Say hello for me.
As for this little lady, she got about an hour left on her shift, so- - She'll make it. - All right. Let's go.
Andale.
Hey.
You've been a bad girl.
Chill out, okay?
Touch her again...
and I'll kill you, hmm?
I mean it.
[Both Moaning]
[Spanish]
No?
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh. - Hmm?
[Snorting]
[Moaning]
- [Oil Bubbling] - Think about it.
All that surveillance equipment they have here?
They say it's for our safety...
but those cameras are pointed right at us- monitoring us, making sure we don't steal shit and stuff.
Yeah, you know, I always wonder whose job it is to watch those monitors...
'cause you don't see anyone around here doing that.
I think they just record everything in case somethin' happens.
It's probably all getting fed back to the national headquarters.
Yeah, like our cash registers.
[Timer Beeping]
What about 'em?
- You don't know about that? - Uh-uh.
Oh, man. Okay.
First thing I do whenever I start my shift is type in the last four digits...
of my Social Security number, then log in.
- Mm-hmm. - And from then on, they keep track of every keystroke.
- Really? - Yeah, they keep a record.
They know exactly how many orders of fries I've sold this month- everything.
And I even have to put in a little code with each person's order...
saying their approximate age and ethnicity.
- [Chuckles] - They don't even know.
You know, that is fuckin' evil.
- [Timer Beeping] - Well- That's Mickeys for you.
- ~~ [Background: Rock] - [Crowd Chattering]
[Register Rings]
Man, when we came here, we sat right over there.
- Was it, like, full? - Yeah, it was really full. There was this band that played.
- They were pretty good. - Yeah, hey, look, just ask.
- Mm-hmm. - Don't worry about it.
- All right. Got it. - Casual. Nothin'- - Hi! - Hey.
- Were you here the other night? - Yeah.
- Who was that guy that was with you? - Uh, my uncle?
- Oh, my God. [Laughs] - [Chuckles]
We were trying to figure that one out.
He's hot, okay? [Giggling]
[Chuckling] No, he's my uncle.
- I'm Andrew. This is Alice. - [Chuckling]
- I'm Amber. - Kim.
- Kim? Nice to meet you. - Hey.
We're all heading over to the lookout for a party, if you guys wanna come.
- The lookout? - Mm-hmm.
That road behind campus-Take that up Mount Cody a mile, and it's right there.
- Oh, right. Yeah. - Should be fun.
- Maybe we'll see you then. - Make it out there.
- Okay, see you there. - All right.
- ~~ [Background: Loud Rock] - Hey!
[Chattering]
'Cause there is no way you can make sense of it all on your own.
The lies are too big. They're too ingenious.
They're too interconnected with one another.
And they know, if the lies are repeated over and over and over again...
people are finally gonna have to believe it, and we do.
Yeah. Like, have you guys read that book Crimes Against Nature?
- [Andrew] Title says it all. - [Alice] Exactly.
- Read that book. - It's talking about how right now...
they've got the logging companies and the timber companies...
chopping down all the trees in the national forest...
but they're saying it's the "healthy forest" program.
Yep, and they got the coal companies running our clean-air plan.
How do they announce that stuff in public without cracking up?
I gotta hand it to them though- genius fucking marketers.
And they're extremely well organized, so we need to be too.
- [Kim] Amber! - [Woman] Yeah, and these guys see themselves...
- as big-time, righteous Christians. - Come here.
- [Man] What would Jesus do? - [Laughing]
- Hey, what's going on? - I met these really cute guys. They want to meet you.
Well- I'm hanging out with these guys.
- They're so boring. - I don't wanna leave just yet.
- Why? - I don't know- Don't worry about it. I'll catch up with you later.
[Chattering, Laughing]
[Woman Chattering]
- Hey, Brian. - Hey. What are you doing here?
- [Knocks] Tony? - Hey, Amber.
- Uh, Tony- - Yeah.
- I don't think I can work here anymore. - Everything okay?
You okay?
I'm fine.
I mean, what do you want to do?
You wanna cut back on the hours? Maybe try another shift?
- [Timer Beeping] - No.
Something happen? Anybody giving you a hard time?
- No. - What's up?
Talk to me.
I just- I can't work here anymore.
- It feels wrong. - [Brian] How is it wrong?
- The job sucks, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. - Brian.
Listen, Amber, you're one of my best associates, okay?
We're starting to talk about you- management material.
Okay? You're about to turn 18 pretty soon.
We're expanding. We got a lot of opportunities here. Think about this.
I just want to do something else.
Okay. There something wrong with this place?
It kinda doesn't feel real.
I mean- It's not your fault.
It's just-This place is like a thousand other places.
- They're all- It's identical. - All right.
Okay, you want reality, you got it. Good-bye.
Tony, I'm sorry.
This has nothing to do with you.
I'm really disappointed, Amber.
- Really disappointed. - Me too.
I'm... sorry.
[Tony] You can pick up your check next Thursday.
Do you want a Coffee Freezer for the road?
Okay.
- [Whirring] - [Grunts]
[Shouting]
[Screaming]
?Francisco!
- [Raul Shouting] - [Screaming]
[Screaming]
[Shouting In Spanish] ?Rapido!
[Alarm Ringing]
- [Men Shouting In Spanish] - ?Raul!
- ?Hombre, que paso? - [Groans]
Okay. [Spanish]
[TV: Spanish] Sylvia!
[Clears Throat]
[Sighs] Ah, Sylvia.
I'm Tom Watson, Human Resources.
[Spanish]
- ?Como esta? - How is he?
Oh, well, he's got a few cracked ribs, a pretty bad concussion...
and he has a disk in his lower back that's hurt.
But that could have been a problem before the accident.
[Christina Speaking Spanish]
[Spanish]
She says, "If he's going to be all right?" He's gonna be real sore, but he's gonna be okay.
[Spanish]
Look, I want you to tell her I have some unpleasant news that we need to discuss.
[Spanish]
Raul tested positive for methamphetamine.
[Sighs, Speaks Spanish]
[Murmurs]
It's an illegal drug. It appears he was using drugs on thejob.
- [Spanish] - And this could have caused the accident.
[Christina Speaking Spanish]
[Spanish]
She says she doesn't believe you.
[Scoffs] Well, tell her this.
Tell her that U.M.P. Is committed to a drug-free workplace.
And, if you break the rules, it endangers others. Tell her that.
[Sighs, Spanish]
[Spanish]
[Christina] She says Raul has never used any drugs.
Well, look, I can show her the result of the blood test.
[Spanish]
- [Spanish] - [Christina] She doesn't believe us.
I'm sorry about your husband.
[Woman On P.A., Indistinct]
[Sniffles, Sobs]
Problem is, at this very moment, there's about a hundred thousand cattle...
in the U.M.P. Feedlot that's right outside of Cody.
It's one of the biggest feedlots in the world. Each one of those cows...
puts out 50 pounds of piss and shit every day.
- Fifty pounds each. - [Alice] Lovely.
Yeah, I know. So, that U.M.P. Feedlot...
produces more waste every single day...
than all of the people in Denver combined.
- [Alice] That's gross. - [Andrew] Yeah.
And-And the waste from U.M.P.'s feedlot, it's-it's- It's not going to some high-tech treatment plant, you know?
It's being pumped into these lagoons...
which are these just great big ponds of piss and shit.
And these great big shit ponds are leaking shit into Peyton Creek...
which eventually ends up in the river.
I mean, you should see it. U.M.P. 's cattle, they're all just crammed together...
living in their own manure, eating this genetically engineered crap...
that's being dumped into these concrete troughs for them.
It's like prison camps for cows.
You wouldn't believe it. You can smell it, like, three miles away.
So Professor Cohen is gonna help us coordinate a letter-writing campaign...
not only to the state water quality board...
- but to various editorial organizations- - Are you kidding me?
Excuse me?
You guys are gonna write a letter.
That company is the meanest fucking company I've ever seen.
They treat their workers like shit. They treat the animals like shit.
They're dumping tons of shit and piss into our river...
- and you guys are gonna write a letter? - Yes, Paco...
as an official warning, to be followed by a campus-wide boycott...
of everything that comes out of that place.
The governor got $200,000 from U.M.P. Last year.
Cathy Crawford?
Head of the environmental committee in the state senate?
She's married to a U.M.P. Top exec.
And you guys are gonna write a letter.
What a fucking waste of time.
Listen, you have gotta start somewhere in raising awareness- No, this is bullshit- this environmental policy discussion group.
Even our name sucks.
Did you just make this up so you could put it on your grad school applications, Andrew?
Do you have a better idea, Gerald?
- Excuse me, I'm- I'm sorry, "Paco"? - Fuck you, man.
Are you just here to be the self-righteous critic, man?
I don't know, man. Action speaks louder.
I'm tired of nice people sitting around talking and complaining...
while the bad guys get to do whatever the fuck they want.
- I wanna see some action. - We all do, dude. That's what we're doing here.
Those Greenpeace dudes, they put their asses on the line.
That's exactly what we should do.
You said that there's, like, a hundred thousand cows, right?
- Uh, roughly. - Well...
what if we cut the fence...
and let them out?
Let them run free. I mean, that- That might get some attention.
See? That's the kind of shit I'm talking about. What's your name?
- Amber. - Beautiful, Amber.
Well, think about it.
I mean, if you suddenly had thousands and thousands of cows...
you know, wandering free...
wandering back to the prairie where they belong...
causing traffic jams, blocking the highway...
you're reminding people that cows aren't supposed to be penned up and treated that way.
You know, that's a really good idea.
Because then we could issue a press release with our demands...
showing what a disaster that company is and what we're gonna do next.
We-We can do all this.
I'm just- I'm warning you guys that right now in this country...
any destruction of private property along these lines...
can be considered in violation of the Patriot Act.
It can be considered an act of terrorism.
You can go to prison for, like, 10 years.
- Yeah, it's a bunch of bullshit. - [Andrew] I know.
I know. We have entered a whole new era...
where they can search your house without a warrant.
They can put you in jail without a trial.
Eco-activists that have never harmed another human being...
are considered by our government to be more of a threat to national security...
than all these right-wing, Timothy McVeigh, militia types.
Well, right now I can't think of anything more patriotic...
than violating the Patriot Act.
~~ [Background: Dance, Muffled] ~~ [Continues]
~~ [Stops]
Hmm?
This industry's fucked.
There's rumors U.M.P.'s plannin' to sell the plant or shut us down.
They got plants all over the U.S., fuckin' Canada.
Cody plant don't start pulling its weight, yeah, they'll shut us down.
Don't matter we've been here 35 fuckin' years.
Don't give a fuck about Cody, and they sure as shit don't give a fuck about me.
[Mike Gasping]
[Gasping Continues]
[Grunts]
[Crying]
[Grunts]
[Cows Mooing]
[Grunts]
Jesus, fuck. This is taking forever, man.
Always cut fences.
- [Loud Clang] - It's the golden rule.
- Let's go. - Let's go.
- Come on, buddies. - Come on, babies. Run for it.
- [Amber] Let's go! - Watch you don't step in the shit.
- Come on, babies. Run for it! - [Andrew] Let's spread out.
- Guys, come on. - Let's get a move on! Come on!
Come on. Here you go. Come on. Here you go!
- Come on. This way! This way! - They're not doing anything.
- Come on. This way! - Come on, baby. Let's go.
- Go out that way. Go out that way. - [Mooing]
[Kissing]
- Why won't they go? - [Paco] What the fuck is wrong with them?
- Hey, get your asses in gear! - How stupid are they?
Show them there's a hole in the fence. I don't think they can see it.
Come on. Lookit! Lookit! There's no fence. Run!
Come on! No fence!
- Come on! - Come on! Come on! Come on!
- No fence, you fucking morons! - Over here. This way!
Whoa! That motherfucker almost just gored me, man. [Chuckles]
Don't you wanna be free? It's wide open. Go!
- [Moos] - They're gonna kill you!
They're gonna kill every single one of you!
- Car! - [Alice] Oh, shit!
[Andrew] Time to go! Time to go!
- Come on! Let's get outta here! - Don't you wanna be free?
Don't you wanna be free?
[Mooing]
- [Alice] Come on. - [Andrew] Amber!
Come on, Amber! Car's that way, Andrew! Come on, Amber! - We're gonna hit the road! Let's go! - [Groans]Let's move!
Come on, come on!
- Let's go! - [Mooing]
[Knocking]
- [Sighing] - What a fuckin' fiasco.
Look, nobody got arrested. Nobody got hurt.
Yeah, and we learned something.
- Yeah? - Don't try something unless you know what you're doing.
Next time, we bring cattle prods. That was our only mistake.
Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Paco, ace cattle rustler from New Jersey.
Fuck you. At least we tried, man.
Better than sitting on our asses.
I just don't understand. Why would they wanna stay in there?
Well, let's face it. Cows aren't the brightest animals.
Who knows? Maybe it's easier in there.
They get all the food they want.
I bet that genetically engineered shit tastes better than grass.
I think they're just scared.
So was Andrew. Did you see how fuckin' fast he ran?
Oh, yeah, yeah. And you were right behind me, fucker.
I don't know.
How come, in real life, the bad guys always win?
[Andrew] Well, you know, they do until they don't.
[Announcer On TV: Spanish]
[Grunts, Exhales]
[Sighs]
[Toilet Flushes]
- [Door Opens] - [Cart Rattling]
Last night, hombre.
- [Machinery Whirring] - [Saw Grinding]
[Bellowing]
[Impact Shot]
[Woman] Okay, Mike.
[Shouts]
Which all adds up to us believing that next quarter...
will be the best time to introduce a major new product.
And along those lines, um-
Don, you wanna take it from here?
Yeah. Um-
Well, as you all know, the Barbecue Big One...
has been testing off the charts for months.
And, uh, I really feel like...
the marketing department's nailed the campaign, Jack.
So, it's obviously time for the big launch. And...
we couldn't be more ready to go.