The Homework Dilemma: How Much Should
Parents Get Involved?
Before discussing
ways you can help your child with
homework, it is important to discuss why teachers assign
homework and how it benefits your child. Why do teachers
assign homework? Teachers assign homework for many
reasons. Homework can help children:
·
review and practice what
they've learned
·
get ready for the next
day's class
·
learn to use resources,
such as libraries, reference materials, and the Internet
·
explore subjects more
fully than time permits in the classroom
Homework can also
help children develop good habits and attitudes. Homework helps children
learn to be responsible and gives them a sense of control and
accomplishment. It can teach children to work independently; encourage
self-discipline and responsibility, and to manage time and meet
deadlines. Children who spend more time on homework, on average, do
better academically than children who don't, and the academic benefits
of homework increase in the upper grades.
Just what kind of parental
involvement — and how much involvement — truly helps children with their
homework? The most useful stance parents can take, many experts agree,
is to
be somewhat
but not overly involved in homework.
The emphasis needs to be on parents' helping children do their homework
themselves — not on doing it for them.
The basic rule
is, "Don't do the assignments yourself." It's not your homework — it's
your child's. It can be hard for parents to let children work through
problems alone and learn from their mistakes. It's also hard to know
where to draw the line between supporting and doing. Remember, don't
confuse, "Helping with Homework" with "Helping"!
How to Help: Help Your Child Get Organized
·
Set up a Homework
Schedule
Many children benefit from a
set homework schedule. For some, the responsibility of deciding when to
sit down and do homework is too difficult. These children may decide to
do their homework after school or after dinner. This is a personal
choice and has to do with learning style. However, once the time
is determined, the schedule should be adhered to as realistically as
possible. This will also relieve the problem of having to "hunt down" or
corral" children to get them to do their homework. It may help to write
out the schedule and put it in a place where you'll see it often, such
as the refrigerator door.
Outside activities, such as
sports or music lessons, may mean that you need a flexible schedule.
Your child may study after school on some days and in the evening on
others. If there isn't enough time to finish homework, your child may
need to drop some outside activity. Homework must be a high priority.
The preset routine should also include a specified amount of time that
must be devoted to schoolwork. This is very helpful for the child whose
motto is "fastest is best" and also the one who "forgets" his homework
because the child knows that he will be required to spend a
predetermined amount of time doing something "academic." For instance,
if your fourth-grader knows she's expected to spend an hour doing
homework, reading, or visiting the library, she may be less likely to
rush through assignments so that she can watch television. A required
amount of time may also discourage her from "forgetting" to bring home
assignments and help her adjust to a routine.
·
·
Schedule Breaks in
the Study Routine
Break up the homework routine
with short breaks for snacks or quick exercise.
Set a time limit for the breaks.
·
·
Pick a
Study Place
A desk is nice,
but the kitchen table or a corner of the living room can work just fine.
A study area should have
lots of light, supplies close by, and be fairly quiet. Your child may
enjoy decorating a special study corner. A plant, a brightly colored
container to hold pencils, and some favorite artwork taped to the walls
can make study time more pleasant.
·
·
Remove
Distractions
Turn off the
television and discourage social telephone calls during homework time.
(A call to a classmate about an assignment may, however, be helpful.)
Some youngsters work well with quiet background music, but loud noise
from the stereo or TV is not OK.
·
·
Provide
Supplies and Identify Resources
For starters,
collect pencils, pens, erasers, writing paper, an assignment book, and a
dictionary. Other things that might be helpful include glue, a stapler,
paper clips, maps, a calculator, a pencil sharpener, tape, scissors, a
ruler, index cards, a thesaurus, and an almanac. Keep these items
together in one place if possible.
How
to Help: Provide Guidance
·
·
Talk
About the Assignments
Ask your child questions.
Talking can help him think through an assignment and break it down into
small, workable parts. Here are some sample questions:
Do you have
everything you need to do the assignment?
Ask to see any necessary books, worksheets, or teacher instructions.
Have you
ever done any assignment like the one you're supposed to do right now?
See if your child has already done similar assignments that can guide
her in completing this particular one. Also ask if your child has
already spent time in class on this assignment, and if so, how
effectively she used her time in school.
Do you
understand what you're supposed to do?
After your child has read the instructions, ask her to tell you in her
own words what the assignment is about.
Do you need
help in understanding how to do your work?
If you understand the subject yourself, you may want to work through
some examples with your child *.
But let her do the assignment herself.
What do you
need to do to finish the assignment?
Your child may want to talk through the steps with you (or make a
written list of them, if he's able to), as described in the section
above on good study habits.
(* Note: One online resource for Homework Help for a wide range of
subjects is www.kidbibs.com/homeworkhelp.htm)
·
Rank
the Assignments
For some children, the decision
about what to do first becomes a major chore. They may dwell over this
choice for a long time. Other children use horizontal perspective.
This occurs when everything takes on the same level of importance
and no priority is seen. Use the due dates for assignments, as well as
commitments to extra-curricular activities, guide you and your child in
setting priorities.
If you choose to rank order,
suggest which assignment to do first and so on. Many children tend to
use a quantity orientation (number of assignments left) rather
than a qualitative orientation (difficulty of assignment). This
means that if they have five things to do, have them finish the four
easy ones first. In their eyes, they have only one assignment left even
though it may be a more difficult task.
·
·
Look
Over Completed Assignments
Check to see that
assignments are started and finished on time. Ask to see the assignment
calendar if you are uncertain of the assignments. If you aren't home
when the homework is finished, look it over when you get home.
·
·
Note on
Using Computers
Most families
have personal computers in their home. Computers can be a great learning
tool and helpful for some assignments. However, you do no not have to
have a computer for your child to compete homework assignments
successfully. Many children prefer using a computer to hand writing
their work. As a parent, you can guide your child in making decisions
about whether it is appropriate to use the computer, pointing out
considerations such as computer availability (do other family members
need the computer this evening?), time frame (when is this due?), and
status of other pending assignments. For assignments using word
processing, children may also need reminding to always do the typing of
the text first, and then if time remains, then they can change the
format, fonts, colors, graphics, and so on.
·
·
Give
Praise
People of all ages respond to
praise. And children need encouragement from the people whose opinions
they value most—their parents. "Good first draft of your book report!"
or "You've done a great job" can go a long way toward motivating your
child to complete assignments.
Children also need to know when they haven't done their best work. Make
criticism constructive. Instead of telling a third-grader, "You aren't
going to hand in that mess, are you?" try, "The teacher will understand
your ideas better if you use your best handwriting." Then give praise
when a neat version is completed.
How
To Help: Monitor Homework Sessions
·
·
Be
Available
Elementary school students
often like to have someone in the same room when working on assignments
in case they have questions. If your child will be cared for by someone
else, talk to that person about what you expect regarding homework. For
an older child, if no one will be around, let him know you want him to
begin work before you get home and call to remind him if necessary.
·
·
Allow
Your Child Some Personal Space During the Homework Session
This is a big
problem for some parents. Parents employing this technique are not only
setting themselves up for tremendous frustration and anger, but they are
also creating "learned helplessness."
Many parents will say that
their children cannot work unless they are sitting next to them. It is
not that
many children are unable to work, but that they choose not to work. The
work stoppage on the part of children occurs when a parent attempts to
break away and no longer provides them with undivided attention. This
"dependency" is very unhealthy because it is not imitated in the
classroom. Consequently, such children may put off doing their classwork
and bring the unfinished work home. In this way they may gain mom or
dad's full attention.
If you are already locked into
this type of situation, you should not break away all at once. You
should desensitize children a little at a time. Sit at the end of
the table for a few days. Then slowly increase the distance between
yourself and the child's work until he or she is working alone.
Remember, you can still "be available", yet provide your child some
personal space to develop independence.
·
·
Never Let Homework
Drag On All Night
Sometimes parents will allow a
child to work on homework for several hours or until they finish. This
is fine if the performance of the child is consistent or the assignment
realistically calls for such a commitment of time. However, in the event
that a child is no farther along after one or two hours than after
fifteen minutes into the assignment, you should stop the homework
activity. The only thing accomplished by allowing a child to linger on
hour after hour with very little performance is increased feelings of
inadequacy. There may be several reasons for such a behavior pattern.
First, the child may not have understood the concept in class and
therefore will not be able to finish the assignment at home. Second, the
child may already have feelings of helplessness, particularly if the
child already had school time to work on the assignment and was not
successful making progress in that setting. This lack of progress may be
the result of the child not listening to the instructions or to being
off-task in school. The child may reason that waiting long periods of
time could result in the completion of the assignment by the parents.
Try to determine the reason why your child is having difficulties then
write a note to the teacher explaining the circumstances.
·
·
Avoid Doing or
Finishing Assignments For Your Child
Some parents will complete an
entire assignment for their children. While the parents' motivation may
be helping their child finish a difficult assignment, the end result may
be very destructive. Children tend to feel inadequate when a parent
finishes homework. First, they feel a sense of failure. Second, they
feel a sense of inadequacy since they can never hope to do the
assignment as well as mom or dad. This can only foster increased
dependency and feelings of helplessness on the part of children. As
children advance through school, our goal is to nurture independent
thinkers who take ownership and responsibility for their own learning.
·
·
And
Finally - Accept the Challenge
Parents often send a message
that a struggle with a homework assignment is a sign of a problem. We
accept struggle in sports — when a young athlete practices lay-ups for
hours, or drops a sweat-soaked jersey in the washer after a hard game —
our response is usually pride, and "good job." But we seldom respond
similarly to an academic challenge. "I was never very good at math
either," we might say, observing our child encounter difficulties. Even
the way we ask about the homework can imply an expectation that it will,
or should, be easy. Instead, we can ask — conversationally rather than
authoritatively — how they're doing, what they're struggling with, and
offer suggestions of how to meet the challenge of the assignment.
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